When thinking of my trip to New Orleans, what I feared most was not the unknown, not seafood, rather something I know pretty well — myself.
It had been three years since I had taken a trip alone for a long duration in another state and in the meanwhile I had been quite comfortable in the familiarity of Los Angeles.
Although I applied to this program with excitement to experience something new, I couldn't help but fear I'd retract from the unknown as a hermit hides in its shell.
What I had failed to realize however was that it had been three years since I had last traveled alone, three years of all things brand new. A new school. A new environment. New friends, new family members, and a me who had become much more willing to confront something that was new.
So I tried seafood.
I ate oysters, shrimp, catfish, and trout.
And did I like it?
YES
But what I enjoyed even more than the seafood, were the conversations amongst it. The people among those experiences.
Within these past three years, I've grown out of my shell. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true. My insecurities no longer supersede my confidence, I'm less likely to cower from who I am from the fear of rejection. I'm more likely to embrace it. And as a result, I've been able to build such beautiful connections on this trip.
But a connection is formative upon a relationship between the two, a presence of the self and of the other.
On our trip, Andonis introduced me to the topic of dividualism. The idea that there is not one individual identity, but varying identities within ourselves that manifest through our connection with others and I find this to be true.
Each conversation with each of my peers on this trip brought out different sides of me. Each provoking different thoughts. Different emotions. Different memories.
And that’s the beauty of humanity. The ability to learn alongside and from each other. The ability to challenge each other. To grow amongst each other. To understand each other. And most of all, the ability to gain a sense of self from one another.
I LOVED my experience in New Orleans. I'm so grateful for this whole experience. But yesterday I left and today I'm 20.
Heading back into the familiarity of Los Angeles and into the unknown of my twenties, I know one thing for sure. I don't want to limit myself. To second guess, to fall to fear. I want to explore. Try new foods. Learn new things. Travel to different places. But most of all, I want to explore my life through the wonderful connections I make, both old and new.
