A young adult's life is filled with monumental experiences. Many of which occur on a stumbling path to adulthood and independence. Along this road, you are faced with decisions that shape your character, your identity. In my time as a young adult, I have experienced revelations, big and small, ranging from my favorite foods to inherent beliefs.
It is not often that on this path we are given literature to relate to and feel through. This particularly special experience is heightened when shared with others, who, like myself, just recently graduated from university. Or they are making their way to graduation.
When feeling so utterly alone on this path to adulthood, it is difficult not to isolate yourself and walk alone. However, Bookpacking has forced me to sit with my thoughts, see my struggles as common and shared with my peers.
I felt seen in our first book, The Awakening by Kate Chopin, where her frank story of Edna Pontiller details a distinctly feminine experience. Which to me was exploring life beyond the roles of woman, mother, and wife, just as a person. Edna sought pleasure, happiness, and aimed to discern what gave her joy and independence. She did this not for her kids or her husband, but for herself.
In a world of boxes, labels, and roles, I often try to push the boundaries of ‘feminine’ of what it means to be ‘woman.’ I reject narratives and embrace my loud, opinionated personality as a way of personal protest. I love that I can be honest and advocate for myself and others, while also appreciating that these are personality traits born from privilege.
Edna, a woman of the late 19th century, did not have these privileges. But what is so transformative about The Awakening is how Edna's story and struggles live through time. Because of this, this particular reading, so very different from my traditional history textbooks, was entirely emotional and relatable. I felt as though I could understand Edna, who, through observation, could very well be an extension of Kate Chopin herself. The result of this was a growing appreciation of female authors and alternative female characters. As Edna’s ‘awakening’ felt so similar to my own.
At the beginning of the Bookpacking experience, my eight peers and I headed south to the Grand Isle of Louisiana. A place that, although it existed in my country, felt entirely foreign. For the first time in eight years, I saw outside of school, relationships, and work, and explored this strange island through Edna Pontieller.
I looked upon the same beaches that Edna lounged on, and although being familiar with oceans and beaches, having grown up on the coast of California, I can easily say that the sand, creatures, and flora all felt alien to me. Immediately shocked by the size of the mosquitoes that inhabit that region, I took it upon myself to appreciate every different bit of that small island. The fascinating people, strange houses, and different food, I could not believe how Louisianans dared to fry just about everything. And after tasting fried gator, oysters, and okra, I understood why. My worldview, imagination, and ability to truly see others have been forever altered.
If I had read The Awakening in my seaside home in Long Beach, California, the beach I would have pictured would have been far different. Coarser, darker sand, with sand fleas that nipped around your toes as you walked into the freezing water. In the distance on a clear day, you would easily see the Catalina Islands, which a ferry would take you to and from. In the ocean, you can see sea turtles, dolphins, as well as shrimp, which, if you were submerged, you could hear crackling underneath you.
Kate Chopin's Awakening, however, sets Edna in a wildly different beach; Grand Isle has a flat beach, where the waves are far more temperate. The wind and rain make one feel as though they are in a tropical storm, where the sand is white and soft. Facing the ocean, it looks as though it expands forever, making one feel completely and utterly alone. I often thought of Edna's death when staring at the ocean. Imagine the enthralling feeling of control and equally terrifying loss of control in such a powerful body of water.
“A feeling of exultation overtook her, as if some power of significant import had been given her to control the working of her body and her soul. She grew daring and reckless, overestimating her strength. She wanted to swim far out, where no woman had swum before”
In this place, I thought of the corners of the country that this water has touched along its journey throughout the Mississippi River. Sitting on that porch of the house on stilts, I could see her, Edna, walking along the beach as I did. During these days, I quickly became emotional, feeling both the relief of graduation as well as relating to Edna's journey. A journey that was so relatable, so real to the human experience.
I am sure to look back on these days as when I moved towards something new, something better, in my very own awakening. Inspired by Edna Pontieller, or really, Kate Chopin.