Julymester 2025

The Weight of a Leader

It was my third day in London, and I found myself on a stroll through Piccadilly, St. James, and Westminster, one of the many hearts of historic London. Having just finished Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables, a certain quote echoed in my mind. As I walked through the grandeur of a city that was once, and still is, a metropolis, I was constantly reminded of Victor Hugo’s critique of England:

But this great England will be angry at what we are saying here. She still cherishes, after her own 1688 and our 1789, the feudal illusion. She believes in heredity and hierarchy. This people, surpassed by none in power and glory, regards itself as a nation, and not as a people. And as a people, it willingly subordinates itself and takes a lord for its head. As a workman, it allows itself to be disdained; as a soldier, it allows itself to be flogged.
— Victor Hugo, Les Miserables

Hugo makes this comment when recounting the Battle of Waterloo, one of the most important moments in European history. The battle ended the Napoleonic Wars, marked the end of Napoleon's ambitions to dominate Europe, and resulted in a significant shift in French public opinion, leading to his abdication and exile to Saint Helena. But Waterloo's impact reached far beyond the battlefield. It played a role in shaping the political landscape of Europe for the next century. It led to the restoration of the Bourbon monarchy in France and contributed to a period of relative peace in Europe, though Hugo points out that peace alone did not solve France’s problems, highlighting the enduring consequences of poverty and social injustice.

Hugo gives merits to Duke of Wellington on the victory, but says that he should not have a statue because it does not give credit to the equally important soldiers who fought this battle; a comment that he says the English people will not take to kindly, since they view themselves as subordinates to the Royal Family. They do not view England as the common man, but rather as the aristocracy and royalty. He argues that even after the Glorious Revolution, the French Revolution, and all the progress made since then, they would not erect a statue for the brave men who risked their lives in the victory, but instead make one for the Duke of Wellington.

Victor Hugo applies this mentality to the time period of the battle, but also inherently to the time of writing the novel, and I would argue it still lingers to this day. London still holds its roots in hierarchy and heredity. Walking through Piccadilly, I passed exclusive Gentlemen’s Clubs and statues of “heroic” kings and dukes, fantastic feats of architecture built to house the aristocracy, and, at the peak of it all, Buckingham Palace: a place where the Royal Family of England has occupied since 1837, the very definition of living in the past.

At Buckingham Palace, it was fascinating to see a regiment of current-serving British officers practicing instruments for a ceremony. These British Army regiments, called the Household Division, do this as part of their ceremonial duties and public engagements. They guard the royal residences, conduct events like the Changing of the Guard, and often play the music for these ceremonial occasions, contributing to the pageantry associated with the British monarchy (which, to be clear, is no longer the legitimate governing body of England).

Continuing the walk to Westminster Abbey, the church’s tour guide led us through the numerous tombs and shrines as if narrating a gilded book of English kings. Every alcove had a story, every stone a name I’d heard in some history class or BBC documentary. The walls were adorned with intricate engravings of Tudor roses and emblems of past kingdoms. And every now and then the tour guide would say, casual and confident: “We liked this king because he won this war.”

It was said with a smile, almost like a punchline. I don’t even remember which king it was — one of the Georges or Henrys, probably — but the line stuck. We liked this king because he won this war. As if the war had been a solo duel, the king the lone swordsman. There was no mention of the countless men who bled on muddy fields or the towns that starved to keep supply lines open. No mention of the mothers or the farmers or the craftsmen who backboned every soldier.

And that’s exactly what Hugo was pointing to: a nation that remembers its aristocrats like heroes and forgets the people who made their victories possible. The king did not win that war. The people did. The foot soldiers did. The cooks and quartermasters, the smiths and sailors. But when it comes to history — at least the version we most commonly see in touristy places like these — it is the noble, not the nameless, who are remembered. 

Westminster Abbey, magnificent as it is, felt more like a hall of royal rememberance than a church. It spoke in whispers of monarchy and martyrdom, of greatness made manifest in birthright. Standing beneath vaulted ceilings, I was among royal tombs and marble tributes, for many of whom did nothing other than subjugate the people so the wealthy could live lavish lives. A place that suggests a nation's soul can be found in the bloodlines of its rulers, rather than in the lives of its people.

Now, this is not an attack on England or its history. Many of today’s societies follow the same path, and many still praise prior kings and queens. History, after all, is told by the victors, and England’s victors were its aristocrats. So, of course they threw up statues for those who shaped the course of history. And there was the tomb of the unknown soldier, one of the most decorated tombs, sitting right at the entrance. So progress has definitely been made. It was just interesting how, even through so many revolutions, so much reform, so much progress towards the common man, the very thing that defines this country is the governmental figurehead of the past.

Becoming the Main Character in London

It’s my first time stepping into Europe. After a ten-hour flight and a bloated stomach, I found my way to the Tube with my overstuffed carry-on in tow. I didn’t trust myself to wrangle a massive checked bag down London sidewalks. To my surprise, the Tube wasn’t as packed as I feared. I sat down, clutching my backpack, buzzing with anticipation. Forty minutes later, I arrived. Pulling out my phone to snap a photo, I caught a dirty look from a local. He knew I was a tourist.

London wasn’t what I expected. My Pinterest boards promised gothic architecture and rainy city romance. Instead, I stepped out into Bedford Square: clean Georgian buildings under an unexpectedly sunny sky. It felt unfamiliar in a way that made me question my imagination. Still, by 9:30 a.m. on a Saturday, Bloomsbury was alive. Families streamed into cafés, friends caught up over coffees (not tea). A city of stories, already in motion.

Reading A Tale of Two Cities while walking those same London streets shifted something in me. I wasn’t just observing literature or history from the outside anymore, I was participating in it. Maybe I’m not the main character of this city, but walking through its chapters gave me a new way to see myself. Maybe not as Lucie Manette, but someone adjacent to her. Someone becoming.

Lucie, the golden thread of Dickens’ novel, reminds me of who I often am in LA: tucked away in my apartment, overthinking every decision, unsure how to be alone without being lonely. She’s gentle, yes, but often passive, surrounded by suitors, her life shaped by others’ choices. I see echoes of her in myself. Should I go book shopping alone? Or stay in and avoid the discomfort? For Lucie, independence feels just out of reach. Sometimes, for me, it does too.

But that Friday morning, I chose something different.

Gymshark Flagship Store

I took myself on a solo date across Central London. The Gymshark flagship store on Regent Street had been bookmarked in my mind for years. Growing up wearing Gymshark, working out at their first-ever store felt like a full-circle moment. I booked a 7 a.m. class. When I couldn’t find the back entrance, I almost turned back. Maybe this was a mistake. But a kind employee pointed me in the right direction, and that changed everything.

I met the kindest people that morning. All of us were there to better ourselves through movement. Abbey, a data analyst at a juice company in North London. Rob, a travel agent who worked nearby. As the workout began, I found myself surrounded by others who were equally committed. It was hard, but we pushed through together.

That solo date became a quiet triumph. What once felt daunting turned into something deeply rewarding. As I walked back to my accommodation, I realized I was doing the things I wanted to do, even without anyone beside me. In real time, I was building trust with myself. That day, my confidence muscle grew. Lucie may have hesitated, but I was learning to act.

Later that day, I noticed how close everything in London feels. Not just in distance, but in energy. That density is something Dickens captured so well. Earlier in the week, we visited Fleet Street with my class, passing Tellson’s Bank, the Old Bailey, and even eating at Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese. Ten minutes from our accommodation was where Dr. Manette lived near Soho Square. Even in a group, I felt the weight of history in the cobblestone lanes. Dickens’ London was one of constant contact, where lives collided, where people from every walk of life had no choice but to share breath, space, and story. I felt that, too.

Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese: one of Charles Dickens’ favorite pubs and believed to be the inspiration for the tavern where Sydney Carton dines in A Tale of Two Cities. A inconspicuous corner of Fleet Street drenched in literary history.

But it wasn’t until I wandered alone near the Millennium Bridge, outside the art museum, that I truly understood why Dickens gave voice to so many characters, from revolutionaries to street sweepers. London doesn’t belong to one kind of person. Watching a street performer do handstands and crack jokes, I noticed children, tourists, and locals all laughing together. In that moment, I didn’t feel like an outsider. I felt part of a crowd that didn’t need to name me to acknowledge me.

Then there’s Madame Defarge. She’s always fascinated me. While Lucie waits and hopes, Madame Defarge acts. She doesn’t flinch or ask for permission. She is certain, purposeful, and relentless. While her methods seem cruel, her resolve is rooted in injustice, the Evremonde family destroyed hers. She refuses to let the past be forgotten. She becomes a force for change.

I used to think I had to choose: be gentle like Lucie or bold like Madame Defarge. But maybe there’s room for both. To hold softness without losing strength. To make space for others without erasing yourself.

“Then tell Wind and Fire where to stop,” returned Madame; “but don’t tell me.”
— Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

In London, women walk alone. They don’t need a man by their side, as Lucie needed Darnay. Even though feminism was only just beginning in Dickens’ time, I’m grateful for women like Madame Defarge, women who rejected the ideal of being quiet, pleasing, soft. Women who spoke, who acted. Because of them, women like me can live boldly today, unapologetically.

I haven’t returned to LA yet. I don’t know what will change when I do. But today, I didn’t wait for anyone. I didn’t ask permission to explore, to eat, to shop, to sit, or to write alone. I walked through the city, through the novel, and through myself. And in doing so, something shifted.

Maybe that’s what Dickens meant by resurrection. Maybe we don’t have to die to become someone new. Maybe we just need a morning to choose ourselves, and let that choice carry us forward.

London turned me into the main character. And I don’t need a plot twist to keep becoming her.